i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She bit a glass in half.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
