Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
