fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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