I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
