So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
