It's Friday. Sex?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
