So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
