you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
