He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I have tasted many bathrooms
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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