In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
