You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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