Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wish you could order shots online.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
