dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
