it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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