my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
