My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Terrible idea I love it
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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