What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
