i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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