Where is the hickey?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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