How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
