Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
