Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
