Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
