my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
