Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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