Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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