There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
