He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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