he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
