Where are you?
In a non slutty way
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
