You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just puked most of my soul out..
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
