I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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