i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Randomize