we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
