Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
