i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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