Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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