I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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