No, drunk sperm still make babies.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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