your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
