I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
