The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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