I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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