ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
