Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
