Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
