I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
