Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Did I show you my penis last night?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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