Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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