if i can run in heels then i can drive
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
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