If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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