there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
