I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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