Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
